The Dreaded Boob Crunch

For anyone who has never had a mammogram, yes it sucks but its over quick and very doable. Even for me with so much medical anxiety. I did want to point out that I fainted once. Luckily I fainted from a chair and not from a standing position.  I had told the tech I sometimes get woozy for medical stuff and she said for older (ELDERLY!!!!) women, they sometimes have them sit on a stool and the mammogram machine gets lowered down to them. Great! I’m like 31 but let’s def do that.

Let me set the scene:

I’m sitting on a stool braless with an open Johnny around my shoulders. Theres’ a random lady smushing my boob into the flatteners. No idea what they are really called. Compression thingy mabobs? I start to feel very sweaty. And clammy. Like my Johnny is now dripping with sweat. Before I can say anything to warn her, I pass out. I do hear “cover her boobies!!” as I am going down. The tech called in another tech to help. So now there are two women fussing over sweaty me. Good times. I was embarrassed but ok. I found out after the fact, (from my friend Mr. Google) a woman died somewhere from fainting during a mammogram. She was standing and fainted and hit her head on the way down. She ended up in a vegetative state until her husband pulled the plug and sued the hospital. So I would say a little blow to my ego was a much better outcome.

If you are 40 with no family history and haven’t yet started annual mammograms, its time! You at least need to get a baseline done so they will have something to compare future images to.

Don’t delay. Smoosh your titties today!!!

Love and boobies,

Allison

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